I, Pariah

"If I would justify myself, my own mouth shall condemn me: if I would shew myself innocent, he shall prove me wicked." (Job 9:20)

I know that house we just have passed,
For in my younger days, I lived
As guest, as friend, as brother there.
They opened up to me; I cast
My cares aside as gladness thrived
As copious as their coffee there.

But I have lost myself to them
That dwell within that house. I watch
Them through the window’s light,
For I, Pariah, am condemned
To trudge alone and hope to snatch
A glimpse of them out of the night.

And sometimes as I stand outside
The lamplight’s reach, I see a day
So far, so far away when I
No longer have to lurk or hide.
But something keeps me far away.
Alas, that cause is none, but I.